Warning! You are driven by the sumptuousness of the title
This is how I will use clickbait and give an irrelevant title to my article and entice you into reading an absolutely useless piece of crap that has nothing useful to offer, like this very sentence.
Click-baiting tricks were learned at school, when I was examined on my ability to title articles during my ‘language’ exams (questions like: “suggest a suitable title to this story”), while none had taught me how to actually name one aptly (or at least I wasn’t astute enough when somebody had taught me). I always went with a title that rhymed well but made no sense. I basically mastered click-baiting by inserting catchy phrases in the title.
Then, I will always start with an abstract or a quote which I honestly do not understand- Something similar to this – “The day I compromise on quality for quantity, I am doomed.” The moment you read it, you expect something intriguing inside and only I know it is an illusion needed to disguise the emptiness within. Also, just when every time you fall in love with my wonderful metaphorical sentences like the earlier one about illusion, I’d chuckle because I know it is a straight rip off from the internet, thanks to Google. (Source: Here)
After the not-so-grand introduction, I am yearning to grab your already waning attention that I quickly start narrating you a fake story from my personal experience that I never had, solely because some experts claim that storytelling is an art. They say it woos the audience. I aesthetically blow my own trumpet and juxtapose them with urbane words from the dictionary to show-off my command over English. I will never tell you how many tabs I had opened in my browser while writing this blog to get ‘least-common’ synonyms of the ‘most-common’ words. (Thank my savior: Thesaurus)
Finally, after spending 2 hours copy-pasting and rephrasing (read stealing) sentences from the internet, I try to bring together pieces of the puzzle and form a conclusion because certainly by now you would have forgotten the ultimate purpose of why this blog was even attempted by me. It is my only chance to write something that you already knew but I will explain as if it is a logical conclusion “I” arrived at, from the above paragraphs.
Anddddddd, I will end this blog with the same quote I started with, just to add spark and create an illusion like you did not understand it’s meaning at all at the start and I was the one who revealed its true meaning & context through this pile of junk. I feel, “I gave you the answer for the puzzle at the start and still made you readers read through the end, see? I am a genius”. I behave like I am a MASTERCLASS!
P.S: This is one classic example of a blog template I end up with, whenever I write something just because I haven’t written in a long while. I push myself to believe “regular blogging means I am a quality blogger”. I would often think about why I write rarely and begin to try writing something. I mean, isn’t it easy to scribble some random words to conjure up a blog? But when I’d finish scribbling and read it to myself, I would realize I have come up with s***. Good blogs are based on your incidents that are too enlightening you cannot resist telling someone. Good blogs are based on information that is too good to not be shared. A good blog is something that will demand to be written. It is a good blog ONLY if you honestly whisper to yourself – ‘I am satisfied’. For some, it happens every day, for me, it is sparse, sporadic & unpredictable. I better suffer from an ‘idea-drought’ rather than sink in a ‘junk-flood’. The day I compromise on quality for quantity, I am doomed.